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Joke of the Day

"[God wakes up] oh man i am hungover, what'd i do last night? [sees that goats have the ability to scream now] haha oh yea"

"Why are families only allowed 1 child in China? The government is opposed to euthanasia."

"Bernie Sanders was going to do a parody of Trump's slogan for his campaign but ""Make America Bern Again"" didn't go over well with marketing."

"It all makes sense now!! Gay marriage and Pot legalized on the same day... Leviticus 20:13 ""If a man lays with another man he should be stoned."" We've just been misinterpreting it all these years!!"

"One thing you can count on: For every idiot proof system devised, a new and improved idiot will arise to overcome it."

"I'm beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on your bus do not go round & round."

"*Eats a snack while making a snack*"

"My real mom put me up for adoption because the cat was allergic to me :("

"Roses are red, violets are yellow, lilacs are cyan, carnations are rainbowish, this LSD pill is lovely."

"What does the blind man say when he passes the fish market? Good morning, ladies!"