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Joke of the Day

"Why did the boy jump up and down on the letter? He heard that you have to stamp letters or the post office won't send them."

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"It's like my nana always used to say: If you really hate him that much, just marry him and then get fat."
"What's the difference between an amusement park and a pedophile? A pedophile doesn't have a height limit"
"Thank god I have the newest, fastest iPhone so I can mindlessly check the same three apps 500 times a day."
"What is Chris Brown's favorite cooking appliance? A Black and Decker"
"Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run too if your name was ""Raaawwwrgggah""."
"I learned all I need to know about how to treat my coworkers by watching every Saw movie at least ten times."
"A man phones work and says ""Sorry, but I can't come in today, I'm really sick."" The boss asks, ""How sick are you?"" ""Well..."" the man replies ""I'm in bed with my mother."""
"I kneed a knee pun Title says it all: any knee puns to go on a joke t-shirt for someone recovering post-acl surgery? Thanks!"
"What do you call a comic book hero that is constantly hooked on having sex with female superheroes? A heroine addict."