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Joke of the Day

"[Testing Cat-Human Translator] Scientist: Cat, what is your name? Cat: I AM KANG THE DESTROYER Owner: It's not working. His name is Socks."

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"I haven't been doing so well at the poop assembly line... My manager said if I don't pull my shit together soon I'll be fired."
"Height of noise Two skeletons having sex on a tin roof and using a can for a condom"
"What do you call a baby from Dover? Doverkiin."
"Wanna hear a bondage joke? Sorry I'm all tied up at the moment"
"Who was the chicken's favorite composer? Bach!"
"My dog left me christmas present under the tree I had to clean it up"
"I drop kicked a Japanese woman today After holding the door open for her, she said to me ""Sank you"" How dare she bring up Pearl Harbor like that after my nice gesture!"
"Last year, I went to study abroad and I am NOT HAPPY about it! This year, my girlfriend is going to study a dude."
"I don't care about Disney lying about my Prince Charming. I'm more pissed about forest creatures and their unwillingness to clean my house."
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