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Joke of the Day

"This dumbass next to me on the highway is texting and driving."

"*walks into interview* Thanks for coming in today. I'm Mr. Maballsonya, but please call me Phil. *walks out of interview*"

"Why do Buddhists always buy 1 ply toilet paper? Because they like to get in touch with their inner self."

"What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?"

"A few weeks ago I mentioned toilet paper in a tweet and got toilet paper in the mail. So, here goes: dragons."

"I was making a graph of my past relationships. First I drew the Ex axis then the Why axis. Full disclosure: I saw this in yik yak thought is share it here. :)"

"What is the difference between a feminist and a hockey player? A hockey player showers after 3 periods."

"How many recruits does it take to change a lightbulb? Five. One to change the lightbulb and four road guards."

"How many chauvinistic male pigs does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark."

"Project Manager Humor Why do Vampires make poor project managers? Because the refuse you to meet with stake holders. (why yes, I am a dad why do you ask?)"