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Joke of the Day

"*walks into interview* Thanks for coming in today. I'm Mr. Maballsonya, but please call me Phil. *walks out of interview*"

"A zombie jumped out at me, in a haunted house, but he didn't scare me. He did, however, catch my elbow in his face."

"There was an indecisive buddha... ...his mantra was 'ummmm'"

"I can't stand those 'happy ending' massage parlors Those places just rub me the wrong way"

"""Yoda, are we supposed to be here?"" ""Off course we are."""

"Have been woken up with the hangover from hell by the sound of my neighbour's lawn mower. He'll just have to mow around me, I'm not moving."

"If The Bachelor was realistic they'd ask each other where they want to go out to eat and then never make a decision."

"I like my women like I like my whiskey.. 19 years old & full of coke.."

"How much resistance can a Buddhist monk endure? Ohmmmmmm............?"

"What do you call a Mexican baby born yesterday? Diego"