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Joke of the Day

"How many recruits does it take to change a lightbulb? Five. One to change the lightbulb and four road guards."

"Despite hating tomatoes, I was a tomato in a school play. I put my personal beliefs aside and nailed the role because I was a professional."

"So I went to the pharmacy the other day I went in and bought a box of condoms. The cahsier asked me whether I wanted a bag? I said no thanks, she's not that ugly."

"Not to get technical, but according to Chemistry...Alcohol is a solution."

"Why did the comedian go to doctor? Because the audience gave him the clap"

"What did the elephant say to the naked man? How do you breathe through something so small?"

"I know a chess grandmaster, but I've only ever played checkers with him Because I know he'll only lose to a check mate"

"I felt a rush of culture shock wash over me as I walked through a middle eastern market It was bazaar"

"I'm white, but... Nope. Can't do one of those today. Look, I'm at a B&B on Cape Cod right now. I'm a fanny pack away from translucent."

"Is there a God? A billion Hindus can't be wrong."