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Joke of the Day

"I was making a graph of my past relationships. First I drew the Ex axis then the Why axis. Full disclosure: I saw this in yik yak thought is share it here. :)"

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"My dad is ""looks for fettucini in the Ethnic Foods aisle"" years old."
"What's the hardest part about breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets the point."
"I may be middle-class, but I'm hard. *Al dente*, you might say. **Jimmy Carr**"
"LPT: If you want to get all green lights just try to send a text."
"What do you call a man doing dishes? Single."
"What do you call someone who confuses Emma Stone and Mila Kunis in a movie? A bad judge of character."
"Did you hear about the Psychic midget that escaped prison? He was a small medium at large."
"What's the most obvious slang word in the Star Wars universe? Yo, duh."
"Have you heard about the stolen shipment of viagra? Police are looking for a gang of hardened criminals"