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Joke of the Day

"The cool thing about being broke is you can tell your friends you aren't drinking for a while & they think you're getting your shit together"

"On Thanksgiving, how does Miley Cyrus stuff her bird? You don't want to know."

"What did the buffalo said to its bisexual son? Bi, son. ^^^^it's ^^^^a ^^^^three ^^^^in ^^^^one ^^^^joke"

"How do you make a rave party in Africa? You stick a piece of bread on the ceiling."

"Want to hear a joke? . . . The WNBA! Want to hear another? Women's Rights"

"A book fell on my head the other day, I only have my shelf to blame"

"WORST THING YOU CAN DO What's the worst thing you can do to a blind person? Leave the plunger in the toilet!"

"Whats the diffrence between a cow and 9/11 You cant milk a cow for 12 years. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^sorry"

"Made it to that level of dad where I just called dibs on the TV that I bought in the house that I own with the cable I pay for."

"Do you before read your tweets even sending them?"