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Joke of the Day

"My Wife accused me of being immature I told her to get out of my fort"

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"I'm like the lemon seed that sinks to the bottom of your water glass and then shoots up your straw unexpectedly, trying to choke you."
"Why did the grapes gang rape and sodomize the orange with a chain saw? They found him aPEELing."
"What is brown and sticky? A brown stick. Bonus: what's red and fluffy? Red fluff."
"What stretches further, skin or rubber? Skin, it says in the scripture that Moses tied his ass to a tree and walked 3 miles to the next town."
"Whats all of this fuss about reposts? I haven't seem any all year! (It's 12:00 NZST)"
"Customer care: Your call is important to us, please hold on. Customer: *completes graduation* *gets a job* *gets married* *gets old* *dies*"
"A woman got breast implants made of wood yesterday... It would be funny if this joke had a punchline. Wooden tit."
"What did the vegetable say to the dj? lettuce turnip the beet"
"Why was the Newfie excited when he heard Quebec might leave Canada? It wouldn't take him as long to drive to Toronto"