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Joke of the Day

"Made it to that level of dad where I just called dibs on the TV that I bought in the house that I own with the cable I pay for."

"What is the swamp-dwellers favorite form of extraterrestrial life? the Martians"

"I like my coffee like I make my women. Hot, and bitter."

"What's the difference between an epileptic cornhusker and a hooker with diarrhea? An epileptic cornhusker shucks between fits."

"Do you ever order a club sandwich just to feel like you're a part of something?"

"If GoT fans of Jon Snow are called Snowflakes, and the ones for Tirion are Tiriots, why is Arya the favorite character of Donald Trump supporters? They're Aryans."

"Why wouldn't the two tampons speak to each other? Because they were both stuck-up cunts."

"What would you rather have Parkinson's or Alzheimer's? At least with Parkinson's you have half a pint."

"What do you call Atheism? A non-prophet organization."

"Flip flops are fun because every time you take a step it's like a high-five for your feet."