7003

Joke of the Day

"A book fell on my head the other day, I only have my shelf to blame"

"I like my women like I like my Coffee.... Ground up and in the freezer"

"Plastic silverware: because the only thing I hate more than poisoning the environment is washing dishes."

"My grandfather was an alcoholic but an amazing magician Whenever he wanted he could turn into a bar."

"Stellar hiring process HR. The new lady broke into song when being introduced to me. I give it 2 days before her first cat-related meltdown."

"Pizza delivery guy showed up. Gave me 3 pizzas, and had me sign the credit card receipt. I gave him a $500 tip. I didn't order any pizza."

"6: I'm done. Me: you didn't even touch your food! 6 pokes food w/finger *without breaking eye contact* The Sass is strong with this one"

"I will give Canada this. Their geese are hard to keep in a headlock."

"The first movable printing press was made In the renaissance. .. This gave more people to jack off to the first porn ever."

"Why are fat people so rich? Because they have lots of pounds."