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Joke of the Day

"Just saw a lady saying grace over her salad. Lettuce pray."

"Cats probably wouldn't need 9 lives if they wore tiny little helmets and didn't smoke cigarettes."

"I like to refer to Star Trek: Deep Space Nine as... ...""Keeping up with the Cardassians"" -&y"

"You better get out of here before the S.W.A.T. team arrives I just blew up a toilet. Say, did you hear the one about the man with chronic constipation? No? Well, no shit"

"Wooden leg. My friend said he knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith. So I asked him ""What was the name of his other leg?"""

"Two yrs ago I weighed 296lbs. Today I weigh 293lbs. Hard work makes dreams come true, folks."

"Look at the name 'Morgan Freeman' and then TRY not to read things in Morgan Freeman's voice. See? You can't."

"Rape is a terrible crime... I'll never understand how a man can traumatize a woman like that. That's why I always make sure they don't remember..."

"Condom Warning Condoms no longer guarantee safe sex. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by the woman's husband."

"which spice, according to jamaicans, is definitely going to hell? the cinnamon!"