209427

Joke of the Day

"Wooden leg. My friend said he knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith. So I asked him ""What was the name of his other leg?"""

Next Joke
 
"Why I dislike German sausages. They are the wurst."
"You could make a whole biopic about my life using only the infomercial footage of people unable to perform simple tasks for no reason."
"What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming up over the hill? ""Here come the elephants up over the hill!"""
"Got asked to be godfather of my niece, so if anything happens to her parents then someone else has to take care of her because I said no"
"I just went to jail for my wife's crime. She's Chinese, which I guess makes me guilty by associasian."
"(in dog boss' office) ""Smith, you're fired."" Fine. I guess I'll just WALK out... (boss' tail starts wagging) ""Wait Smith get back here"""
"Shot pool with my 15yo son. Taught him a valuable lesson. You can restart a video game 1000 times. You can only lose your allowance once."
"Honestly if I had a brain I'd... probably not admit to being stupid publicly for a start."
"Why don't the other DC heroes like Nightwing? He's always being a dick to them."