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Joke of the Day

"Cats probably wouldn't need 9 lives if they wore tiny little helmets and didn't smoke cigarettes."

"Girls dont dress up to impress guys. We dress up to impress other girls. If we wanted to impress guys we would just run around naked all day"

"Japan's economy crashed in the 90s because their housing bubble was so bad, the Imperial Palace was worth all the land in California. I *wish* houses out here could still be that cheap!"

"A man walks into a bar... ...and loses the international limbo championship. (I feel like this is probably really old, but I hadn't heard it before.)"

"I couldn't get tickets for the Plan B concert. So I had to go with my first choice instead."

"What do you call it when you throw a black person in the water? Pollution What do you call it when you throw all the black people in the water? Solution."

"Two women are sitting in a cafe discussing work.. One says to the other ""How do you like your job testing push-up bras?"" The other woman replies, ""It has its perks."""

"Trump's rhetoric has become even more disturbing and incendiary. Today he claimed ""Burger King fries are as good as McDonald's fries."""

"It's not working. I've napped every day this week at work and not a single raise or promotion. Sleeping my way to the top was a stupid idea."

"So did you hear about the cannibal that broke into the gay hospital? At least he's getting his fruits and vegetables now."