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Joke of the Day

"Condom Warning Condoms no longer guarantee safe sex. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by the woman's husband."

"Have you heard about the deaf guy? I don't think he did either."

"How to catch a polar bear: 1) Cut a hole in the ice. 2) Carefully place peas in a circle around the hole. 3) Hide and wait. 4) When the polar bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice-hole."

"Xanax: For Hispanic attacks."

"the 10,000 hours rule is simpley not true i hav said ""helo bird"" to a bird for over 10,000 hours but i still cam't talk to birds"

"Q: What did the blind blonde say as she was making love with her new boyfriend? A: ""Funny you don't feel Jewish."""

"what did the cornflake say to the other cornflake? Hi cornflake. don't blame me... you clicked on it... what did you expect?"

"I was offered a threesome with a Japanese guy but I turned it down, after all, you know what they say about Japanese penises... ...they're really blurry."

"Nostalgic grandpa A grandfather to his grandson: when i was you age id grab $5 and get groceries for the entire week. The grandson: We can't do that now grandpa..they have cameras installed."

"I once dated a girl who owned a parrot. The thing would never shut the f@#K-up! but the parrot was cool though!"