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Joke of the Day

"Nephew drops my iPad, doesn't say sorry but proceeds to offer me a biscuit. His future in Politics is secure."

"""Instagram announced they will allow users to see who viewed their profile..."" *wakes up in cold sweat*"

"A man proposes. A man goes down on his knees and proposes to her: *Marry Me... and Make me the Happiest Man in the World* Looking bewildered she replied: **You want Both !!!??**"

"I will let someone cut the line I'm waiting in, but only if they let me braid their hair from behind."

"If you take the D out of Devil what do you get? D"

"I guess he's going back to ""the artist formerly known as prince"" too soon?"

"A book never written: ""Secret Societies"" by E. Lumin Audi"

"""Gunman"" is too cool-sounding. Can we start calling them something that conveys weakness, like ""pistoleer?"""

"What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds!"

"How many people does it take to circumcise a whale? Foreskin divers"