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Joke of the Day

"""Gunman"" is too cool-sounding. Can we start calling them something that conveys weakness, like ""pistoleer?"""

"What's the cheapest kind of meat? ...Deer balls, They're under a buck!"

"Why do scuba-divers fall backwards off the boat? ...Because if they fell forwards they'd fall back into the boat."

"How do you measure the molar mass of guacamole? With Avocado's Constant."

"Do not underestimate me. 16 just dared me to eat the fish food. It's freeze-dried worms. Wasn't bad. I'm hungry."

"I hope my children have crippling OCD because free housekeeping would be sweet."

"What did the pessimist say to the psychologist? Only the good die, Jung."

"want a smart girl, a nice girl, a romantic girl. But most importantly, I want these women to never meet."

"Rabbit: Are you sure this bottle of special carrot juice will cure me? Doctor: Absolutely. No rabbit ever came back for another."

"Why wasn't Jesus born in Ireland? They couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin."