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Joke of the Day
"How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw bananas at her."
Next Joke
"If you weigh a whale at a whale weigh station, where do you weigh a pie? Somewhere over the rainbow, weigh a pie."
"Q: What did the rude prism say to the light beam that smacked into him? A: Get bent!"
"What did they say when Jett passed out drunk at a party? Jett crashed."
"Q: How does a man keep his youth? A: By giving her money furs and diamonds."
"sometimes i cry when i chop vegetables other than onions, just so the onions don't think they're ugly or something"
"When one door closes another one opens. ... Or you could just re-open the closed door. Because that's how doors work...!!"
"What do Canadian girls have? Boobehs"
"If Steve Jobs can do that to the iPhone, think what he could do to Verne Troyer."
"how do I keep my skin looking so young? it's all thanks to [turns to camera smiling] an ancient curse [locusts pour from my mouth & eyes]"