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Joke of the Day

"When one door closes another one opens. ... Or you could just re-open the closed door. Because that's how doors work...!!"

"If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump were in a car crash, who would survive? America"

"So apparently Garry glitter has gone down, ON LITTLE GIRLS HAHEHHEHEE (heat plz)"

"What do you call a bunny in a kilt? A hopscotch"

"4-year-old: Can you do what you want at work? Me: No, I have to listen to my boss. 4: Mom is at your work?"

"Hermione Granger: What can I wear that won't make me look fat? Ronald Weasley: An invisibility cloak"

"If you drill a hole through the planet and drop a stone into it, how far does it fall Three feet and then the green rock eater eats it"

"My Dad taught me to swim the old fashion way He took me down to the river and threw me in. As soon as I got out of that burlap sack I could swim like a fish!"

"Necrophilia... There's nothing like cracking open a cold one."

"Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? He hasn't either"