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Joke of the Day

"If you weigh a whale at a whale weigh station, where do you weigh a pie? Somewhere over the rainbow, weigh a pie."

"I wanna be that one kid who.... shows Kim Kardashians kid her sextape"

"I love women so much that.. If I were a woman I'd be lesbian."

"So, if he gets divorced for the third time... Does Melania get to keep the White House?"

"My little brother wished for bigger family gatherings So I listed my single uncles on dating websites. ""You want aunts? That's how you get aunts."""

"I used to be in a band called Missing Cat' You've probably seen our posters."

"Bro:hey how are you? Me: eh, feeling stabby B: B:I'm afraid if I tell you that's not a real word you'll show me what it means. Me: smart"

"A seal walks into a club..."

"My girlfriend says she doesn't trust me. At least that's one thing she has in common with my wife."

"Did you hear that the World Hokey Pokey Champion has died? At the undertakers, they were putting him into the coffin. They got his left leg in. That's when the trouble started..."