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Joke of the Day

"Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth, then it just becomes a soap opera."

"What's the difference between an egg and a wank? You can't beat a wank!"

"My son was thrown out of school today.... for letting a girl in his class wank him off. I said ""son, that's three schools this year. Maybe teaching isn't for you"""

"The woman who will be on the $10 bill has been announced and it's. . . Caitlyn Jenner-Hamilton"

"Thinking it's a not a good thing when the pizza delivery guy knows my dog by name."

"What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? can't jam peanut butter in your ass"

"If you want sex... A man tells his wife in bed that if she wants sex to reach over and pull on it once. If she doesn't, reach over and pull it 100 times."

"My dad told me I was no son of his. Then my mom said ""Dammit how did he know?"""

"What do you call a Jew that can fly? Smoke"

"Q: What do you call a lawyer who has gone bad? A: Senator."