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Joke of the Day

"What Do Twitter Users Call Themselves? Twats."

"My kid's favorite joke right now: Knock knock. Who's there? I eat mop. ... omg that is SO gross"

"What do you call a bossy potato... A dicktater"

"Last night I dreamt I was a muffler... It was exhausting."

"What did the farmer say after he fed his cows pot? ""the Steaks are high."""

"*interrogating cat* Admit it! You're a Communist! ""Meow"" A no-good red! ""Meow"" Tough guy eh? ""Meow"" We can do this all night. ""Mao"" Youwait"

"[trying to buy pants] Clerk: Sir you need pants to shop here."

"R.I.P water You will be mist!"

"Anonymity on the internet allows us to be whatever we want to be, but I'm glad most of us went with ""perverted idiot""."

"Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born? To knock the penises off the smart ones."