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Joke of the Day

"my dishwasher stopped working.. i heard sometimes you just have to give em a good kick, and they'll start right up again so i tried that, then she dumped me"

"The best feeling in the world is realizing that you're perfectly happy without the thing you thought you needed."

"Any jokes for friday the 13 & Valentines day? :) Just wondering if anyone had some good oneliners, maybe even dad jokes, about valentines day amd frifay the thirteenth :)"

"What do you call a pessimistic melon? A cantaloupe"

"every good........ (offensive) every good rape story starts with a no..."

"Have you heard about the funny feminist? me neither"

"You find out who your real friends are when all you have left to offer is friendship."

"This fly in my car is going to be very disappointed when it ends up at Walmart."

"What did Shakespeare say when his dog messed up the carpet? *""Out, damned spot! Out, I say!""*"

"What's green and has wheels? Grass... I lied about the wheels"