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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes you have to cook ur own food and jerk off in front of your girl to show her that she can be replaced."

"Dude tried to pick me up at the gym but I was like bro I'm dying just let me lay here"

"If two vegetarians get into a fight Is it still considered beef?"

"""Something's keeping me from masturbating,"" the young woman confided to her doctor. ""I can't quite put my finger on it."""

"Why isn't North Korea democratic? Because Kim Jung Un doesn't want a public erection"

"what do you call a chav in a box? innit."

"Why you shouldnt vote for Hillary because Bill always chose someone other than Hillary, and you should too"

"Did you hear Viagra now comes in a nasal spray? It's for dickheads!"

"I stare at the cats. ""And in space, if you knock something slowly off the table, it just gently floats away."" They look at me in horror."

"These ramen noodles taste like payday is next Friday."