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Joke of the Day

"Masturbation is like procrastination It feels good when you're doing it, but afterwards, you realized you fucked yourself"

"Baby's first knock knock joke Knock knock Who's there? HaHa! You're never going to get this one!"

"Jesus: Give them fingernails in case they start itching. God: Alright, but wouldn't it be funny if they couldn't reach their backs?"

"Her: I'm running a little late. M: how many more seconds er I mean yeah sure take your time. Me, trying to play it cool with the babysitter"

"My friend asked me if i want some Sodium Bromate. But I said : ""NaBrO"""

"What kind of cigars does Baby Jesus smoke? (Mmmph!) Meek & Milds!!!! :0"

"What do you call corn with a sense of humor? Laughing stalk"

"Please write another brilliant status about how high you are. I'm on the edge of my seat here."

"You know what really surprised me about the debate tonight? Turns out it *is* possible to have a worse moderator than the team over at /r/news!"

"At the IRS audit IRS: According to your tax return you claim got money for nothin' & checks for free. Taxpayer: Am I in trouble for that? IRS: We'd say you're in dire straits."