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Joke of the Day

"""Talk dirty to me!""she begged. ""Alright,"" he said leaning closer, ""Volkswagon diesel!"""

"Seems to me the guy who named sneakers was up to no good."

"Why would you chase a waterfall? They don't move to different spots you know. It's pretty much just right there."

"Anonymity on the internet allows us to be whatever we want to be, but I'm glad most of us went with ""perverted idiot""."

"Who are the fastest readers in the world? 9/11 jumpers they went 79 stories in 10 seconds."

"Half of men in America watch porn everyday. The other half are waiting for Comcast to fix their internet connection."

"Dad said I need to be the rock for a friend who is having a tough time. Currently practicing that eyebrow thing & wrestling moves."

"If being a success was a sound, I bet it would sound a lot like this air pump I'm using to inflate my new furniture."

"What do they do to dead scientists? They barium."

"Did you hear about the lesbian construction company? There are no studs, it's all tongue and groove . . ."