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Joke of the Day

"You know what really surprised me about the debate tonight? Turns out it *is* possible to have a worse moderator than the team over at /r/news!"

"I can speak more than one vagina I'm bicunnilingual"

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the restroom? Because their P is silent."

"Why didn't the Mexican go ""bow hunting"" with the Native American? He didn't Habanero."

"A person walks into a bar. Ouch."

"You have to stay in shape. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is."

"My doctor said I can't lift more than ten pounds... Can you help me pee?"

"At first I hated my new haircut... but it's growing on me."

"How do you surprise Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in the toilet"

"I like my women like I like my deer... Mounted."