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Joke of the Day

"Jesus: Give them fingernails in case they start itching. God: Alright, but wouldn't it be funny if they couldn't reach their backs?"

"FARMER: The storm destroyed half our crops TRUMP: Have you thought about taking the existing crops and just sort of combing them over th"

"Which Asians have the softest skin? Laotians"

"[Hall of Justice] Aquaman: How do you expect me to ignite the TNT below Kaiser's floating fortress? Waterproof Match Man: Maybe I can help."

"looking back, I wish I'd bought my baked beans online... Heinz site's a wonderful thing"

"My daughter can be so cruel... Her: Hey dad, what is the difference between broccoli and boogers? Me: I don't know, what? Her (pointing at me): YOU, don't eat your broccoli!"

"FINALS TIP: Create a reward system to help you study. For example, if you spend 1 hour studying, reward yourself with 72 hours of Netflix."

"What do you call an elite team of crime solving tree surgeons? Special branch."

"Two guys walked into a bar... ...the third one ducked."

"Dirty deeds done at a reasonable price with a quantity discount. That seems like a more sustainable business model."