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Joke of the Day

"What the difference between... a dead dog in the road and a dead Frenchman in the road? There are skid marks in front of the dog."

"A skeleton walks into a bar... And says ""gimme a beer and a mop."""

"I hope you don't take this joke literally but if you do, please return it later."

"4 worst drivers Women Asians Old people And the combination of the 3"

"I use the phrase ""when I win the lottery"" a lot for someone who never buys any lottery tickets."

"A lost & found note as a gesture of goodwill. Whoever lost a Rolex I report ""the time now is 20 minutes after seven"""

"What's brown and black and looks good on a hippy? A rottweiller."

"I was checking out a Jewish girl the other day. Her barcode wouldn't scan."

"Saw Helena Bonham Carter walking down Wardour Street earlier looking every inch the mystical vagabond. Was tempted to rub her head for luck."

"The first person who pulled an egg out from under a chicken's ass and ate it must have been really fucking hungry."