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Joke of the Day

"I used to struggle to keep food on the table until I Googled ""how to get your pet turtle Charles to hold still because he's a table now."""

Next Joke
 
"After lengthy reflection, I've concluded that having kids wasn't worth the seven times my son took out the garbage for me."
"Did you guys hear about the circus fire? It was in tents."
"Why are campers so predictable? You know they're in tents."
"Why did one european country eat the other? Because it was Hungary"
"What did the Hawaiian Jihadist say? Aloha Akbar."
"What did the train on the way to Auschwitz say? JEW JEW! TUGATUGATUGATUGA JEW JEW!"
"What do you get when you teach Android grammar? A droid"
"[blind date] HER: lmao! You seriously wore pajamas on a first date? ME: hey!! You're not blind!!"
"What do you call a single use phone book? The YOLO pages."