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Joke of the Day

"I was checking out a Jewish girl the other day. Her barcode wouldn't scan."

Next Joke
 
"My Daughter wants a Cinderella-themed party, so I invited all her friends over and made them clean my house."
"""Room Service? Can you send up a towel?"" ""Please wait someone else is using it."""
"Facebook, Pinterest and Instagram have taught us that for every giant technological leap ahead, we will find a way to use it for dumb shit."
"LIFE HACK: Tired of the neighbors' noisy kids playing in front of your house? Sign up for the sex offender registry"
"A neutron walks into a bar and asks, ""how much for a beer?"" The bartender replies, ""For you, no charge."""
"What's M. Night Shyamalan's favorite flavor of ice cream? Twist"
"I bet my fish rolls his eyes when I tell people on the phone how busy I am."
"When Bruce Banner gets constipated do you think he turns into the Hulk? - just one of the thoughts I have during important business meetings"
"What do University of Miami, Florida State, and University of Florida football fans have in common? None attended the University of Miami."