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Joke of the Day

"Why parents don't allow their children to listen to M. Jackson songs? because they are very touching"

"Thanks for the Christmas card featuring the ultrasound photo. Here's one of my family gathered around an MRI of my knee."

"California is getting so much rain right now... ...that even Caitlyn Jenner is getting wet."

"My greatest fear is sitting in front of thousands of people while my Google search history is being read aloud."

"- Do you have photos of your girlfriend naked? -No. - Do you want some?"

"[England 1320] ""Dearest fair lady, thou art the finest in the land. Allow me to gaze upon thee soon. My love grows."" *waits 6 months* ""K"""

"I checked the thermometer outside. The temperature read ""Fcuk this sh1t! Stay in the house!"""

"Why are men are like public toilets? The good ones are taken, the rest are full of shit."

"I figured out Inception, guys. The whole thing was really a movie."

"I backed a horse at 10/1 yesterday... It came in at quarter past 4."