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Joke of the Day

"It's not that he liked big butts; it's that he could not lie. THAT'S why Sir Mix-a-Lot deserved his knighthood."

Next Joke
 
"I was going to go for a run this morning. Then I remembered I don't run so I put some whiskey in my coffee and sat back down."
"I was wondering why my laptop saying Hello And Hello And then I remembered.... It's a dell"
"they can't date any hot chicks #SnowmanDatingProblems"
"What do you call a 2x4 that lost its family to a fire? mourning wood"
"Q: What's the slowest thing in the world? A: A Mexican funeral with only two sets of jumper cables."
"News: Ireland has now legalized ecstasy, meth, and mushrooms due to an unexpected legal loophole. In other news: I have a plane to catch."
"No, officer, I haven't been drinking; my toddler just needed to hand me everything from the back seat."
"Facebook: ""Hey why are you making dumb jokes?! Some of us are praying over here!"" Me: *backs away slowly* [My Twitter origin story]"
"Sorry I flinched when you told me you loved me. I've been practicing my poker face. Can we try again?"