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Joke of the Day

"Facebook: ""Hey why are you making dumb jokes?! Some of us are praying over here!"" Me: *backs away slowly* [My Twitter origin story]"

"If y is dependent upon x, that means y is determined by x. So we could call y the determinant. If that's true, then we can call x Arnold... because it's de-terminator. Heh."

"You know why Mayweather won't beat Pacquiao? Pacquiao isn't his wife."

"Knock knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'll never forget"

"Turns out exposing yourself to different cultures just gets you arrested in multiple countries."

"Why were the police ever issued with pepper sprays? Surely this will lead to the creation of more seasoned criminals."

"so I saw an ad on ebay about a book on how to scam on ebay so i bought it.. It still hasn't arrived."

"Why do ISIS fighters only drink instant coffee? Because they hate the French Press. (This joke used to be more topical)"

"What's the first place Dora explored? The mexican border."

"What did one gay horse say to the other? Haaaaayyyyy"