91781

Joke of the Day

"I was going to go for a run this morning. Then I remembered I don't run so I put some whiskey in my coffee and sat back down."

"My friend asked me to come up with Eleven jokes about The Australian Open. I think Tennis enough."

"If you think your job is meaningless remember that in the BMW factory, there are people whose job is to install turning lights"

"Was very hungry when I made a wish to the genie I found in a lamp and I had a Freudian slip and now I'm a chicken magnet"

"The second fastest thing in a bathroom is the speed in which your butt-hole closes after a log comes out, but what is the fastest thing in a bathroom? The drop of water that makes it in."

"What do you call a gay drive-by. A Fruit Roll-Up"

"Whats E.T.'s first name? Yodela"

"Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means you laugh at his."

"Ban land mines now! It's time to put our foot down."

"If rivers could speak, which river would always say no? Da Nile"