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Joke of the Day

"Shout out to that old cop in movies, talkin' 'bout how soon he's gonna retire & go sailing with his wife. Dude is about to get BLOWED UP!"

"What is Kanye West's favorite kind of omelette? Omelette you finish"

"For a cat named Jingles, his tambourine accompaniment to my blistering bongo solo isn't that impressive."

"Forgiveness is for people who don't know about arson."

"*pulls up pants* Me: It feels like I've got the world's worst wedgie! Proctologist: That's normal. M: ... P: Hey... Have you seen my glove?"

"Who are the fastest readers in the world? 9/11 victims. They go through 50 stories in just a few seconds."

"With Christmas just around the corner, what's your favourite christmas themed joke?"

"What food should you avoid if you don't want to go to court? Sue-shi! I'll excuse myself."

"If I had a dime for every nickel I had I would have three cents"

"New business name slogans Tawnya's Cleaning Service: I'm not willing to clean my own home, but I'll clean the shit outta yours! What do you think?"