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Joke of the Day
"Forgiveness is for people who don't know about arson."
Next Joke
"4 yo: Mommy, it feels so good. Me: What does? 4 yo: To be a gangster. Me: ... Go tell your father I said to come here."
"Can a woman turn a man into a millionaire? Yes, if he's a billionaire..."
"Why do tampons have strings attached? So you can floss after you eat. Alt ending: So the crabs can bungee jump."
"It's important to know your neighbors by name. For instance, ""Mr. Mean Old Man"" and his wife, ""Screamy""."
"FYI, you don't have to be a waiter in order to go in a restaurant and wander from table to table asking people, ""How's everything tasting"""
"oneconfess At a job interview director told me that he cannot give me a job because I do not have enough points, but he can give me a son. #oneconfess"
"How do you tell the difference between a Pakistani wedding and an ISIS training camp? I don't know, I just fly the drone"
"Do men prefer straight or curly hair? Need to know so I can tell my roommate the opposite and then try to steal her boyfriend."
"What do you call a German outkast? Hey, ja!"