113117

Joke of the Day

"[1st day in heaven] God: Welcome! Have a taco and a shot of tequila. Do you like music? Me: Yeah. G: How about a little, *giggles* Nirvana?"

"What's red, white, and black all over? An American plantation."

"Why can you call a liberal a leftist but can't call a conservative a rightist? Because they're always the wrongest."

"Where do retired pigs go for warm weather? The tropigs!"

"Q:where do you see yourself in 5 years? A:I don't know i dont have 2020 vision All credit goes to /u/RegretDesi"

"Strangers on a Train"

"How do you keep an idiot busy? loading..."

"Whats the difference between reddit and hell? Hell *fires* bad people"

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Easter Island Barbie ...the famous statue with blonde hair"

"Some joke my dad told me a long time ago What's one profession that doctors, lawyers, even the king of Saudi Arabia and the presidents of the USSR and US bow their heads to? Barbers."