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Joke of the Day
"Sad iPad Why was the iPad sad? Someone took a bite out of its Apple."
Next Joke
"Whoa. The house telephone thingy just rang. Couldn't remember what to do so I stopped, dropped and rolled."
"While I was very disappointed & angry to find my daughter smoking a cigarette I'll be damned if she didn't look cooler."
"Why are there no Walmarts in Iraq? Because they are all Targets."
"Niantic title"
"Hey baby, is your father a thief because he stole the stars and he put them in your eyes and also my TV is missing."
"If girls be trippin' as much as I'm told they are... They should go to the doctor to see if they have an ear infection."
"INTERVIEWER: this says u work well with otters. Did u mean others? ME (shoving a romp of otters back into my briefcase): haha yeah of course"
"What is it called when you ride around on a horse asking people questions? A gallop poll."
"""No way."" -Jose"