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Joke of the Day

"My doctor said the best thing I could do for my health was to go outside more. He told me to pick a fun outdoor hobby to motivate me to get out of the house. So I started smoking."

"PLEASE NOTE...The charity event tonight for men that can not ejaculate as been cancelled. . There's just not enough people coming"

"I can't believe it's almost 2012 & there isn't a prenatal test to find out if you're gonna have one of those kids who's really into magic."

"How come we never see hideous fish men around any more? Dagon."

"Kid: Dad, what does ironic mean? Dad: Well son, when 2 people decide to get married on Independence Day....."

"How many birds does it take to change a lightbulb? Swan"

"Did you hear that Monica Lewinsky stopped smoking cigars? Now she's just bummimg cigarettes!"

"If you teach a Pokemon substitute.. Does that mean you're a substitute teacher?"

"came from my uncle: Why is the capitol of Ireland growing so fast? because the population is always Dublin."

"I saw a lizard and it became a spotted lizard"