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Joke of the Day

"Kid: Dad, what does ironic mean? Dad: Well son, when 2 people decide to get married on Independence Day....."

"deer diary: day 67 at hugwerts skool uv wezirdry nd none uv teh studints hav noticd dat my wahnd is an slim jim."

"He died doing what he loved: meeting people on Craigslist to buy furniture."

"Twitter is the only place where black people can follow me,and not get nervous about it"

"The best thing about being deaf. The best thing about being deaf is that all genres of music sounds fantastic!"

"If shit was music, you'd be an orchestra."

"I told my wife I wanted to try anal sex. She told me she had been having sex with an A-Hole for years."

"For those who can't eat their vegetables bc of the wheelchair: There IS a chocolate shake with every one, all you have to do is pull out the straw. Edit: a word"

"There's a dead squirrel in the driveway. Mrs. Liebowitz is worried that the death might be gang-related. She's checking FOX News to be sure."

"What fever did Joe Dirt catch on vacation after getting bit by a mosquito? Deeeeeeeeeeengue"