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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear that Monica Lewinsky stopped smoking cigars? Now she's just bummimg cigarettes!"

"*yells from space* Did you kill that spider?!"

"My neighbour has been playing the bongos for over an hour, and I thought he was meditating until I heard him sing ""Yeah, shake that shit..."""

"Do you think Rick Astley ever just busts into places unexpectedly? He could."

"When I catch my dog sleeping, I shave dicks into his fur."

"One day Facebook, YouTube and Twitter will merge. It will be called YouTwitFace."

"Gonna start referring to my Facebook feed as Chick-Fil-A because it's just a bunch of propaganda from cows who can't spell."

"I like my women like Hillary Nasty and exposed !"

"He who goes forth with a fifth on the Fourth, may not come forth on the fifth!"

"Why Was Vista Afraid of Seven? Cause seven eight ten."