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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an expert that studies sign language? A signtist!"

"What's the difference between a viola and a trampoline? You take your shoes off before jumping on a trampoline."

"I upset a Jehovah's Witness at work today... ...he started telling me a knock-knock joke, but I wouldn't answer."

"If David Bowie were alive today... he'd be scratching at the lid of his coffin yelling, ""Let me out! I'm alive! Let me out!!"""

"A mushroom walks into a bar... Bartender says ""we don't serve your kind here!!"" Mushroom says ""why not?!? I'm a fungi!"""

"How do people do backflips and shit, like I can't even flip my grilled burger without fucking it up."

"What's worse than a fish in the SS? *Adolf*in. Man, I did *Nazi* that coming."

"What do you call a jewish man? By his name"

"Me: I grew a beard once & It actually looked just like yours. Him: Why'd you shave it off? Me: I just told you..."

"She said we needed to talk and... I said, ""Yeah, I think we should break up, too."" She said, ""About where to eat."" ""Oh,"" I said, ""Pizza?"""