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Joke of the Day

"How do people do backflips and shit, like I can't even flip my grilled burger without fucking it up."

"Why are business men's toilet clogged? They gave too many shits"

"Revenge is a dish best served with a laxative that looks like chocolate."

"in the darkest corner of my room, dick cheney sits brooding, waiting til i fall asleep. or it's a lampshade. kinda dark and i'm nearsighted."

"I've lost interest in dating I decided to tell my therapist that archaeology just wasn't my thing anymore."

"I love to hold my wife's hand when we are out. If I let go, she shops."

"What did one lesbian vampire say to the other? ""See you next month!"""

"I need to stop drinking so much milk. It's an udder disgrace."

"Why do sumo wrestles shave their legs? So that you can tell them apart from feminists"

"Doctor: Did you take those pills I gave you last month? Me: The package said ""Take on an empty stomach"" so, not yet."