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Joke of the Day

"You never get a second chance to make a first impression... ...unless you keep a stash of roofies on you at all times."

"What did one condom say to another? Let's go to the gay bar and get shit faced."

"The biggest joke of 2015.. When you have Donald Trump, Hilary Clinton, and Deez Nuts running for President."

"What reddit page has that link/picture you're looking for? The next page."

"My ex-wife is like a tornado First she blows, then she sucks, then she took my house and dog."

"Getting rid of my cleaning person sounded like a good way to save money, until it came time to do the cleaning."

"Him: What's your fantasy, baby Me: Me, you and my cat wearing matching sweatersWHERE ARE YOU GOING I HAVEN'T EVEN TOLD YOU ABOUT THE NACHOS"

"I invented a new joke I invented a new word. Plagiarism. EDIT : This joke was invented by me and copyrighted. Dare to take it and a lawsuit shall find you."

"What goes oo oo oo. A cow with no lips."

"The Clock is Ticking... 9:09 9:10 George Bush 9:12 9:13"