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Joke of the Day

"Getting rid of my cleaning person sounded like a good way to save money, until it came time to do the cleaning."

"what idiot called it ""alphabet soup"" instead of ""times new ramen""?"

"I once held a PHD in the field of literature And then he asked me to put him down and pick up all the books I threw all over the grass"

"Sometimes I put toilet paper... Sometimes I put toilet paper over my penis, and pretend that it's a ghost."

"I love when couples get sick together because that's what people deserve for being happy."

"Did you hear about the Irish firing squad? They formed a circle."

"I'm an undecided voter. Shoot myself, overdose, or jump off a cliff?"

"Roosters are just edible alarm clocks."

"Why did the lime disapprove of his daughter? Because she was a little tart."

"Why did the feminist's bakery go out of business? She told people to stop patronizing her."