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Joke of the Day

"The Clock is Ticking... 9:09 9:10 George Bush 9:12 9:13"

"My parents are in town and said they'd be at my house in ten minutes, and I'm wondering if that's enough time to build a moat."

"Just think of the money we could have saved with Hillary. We would have saved 24% by hiring a woman."

"Why did the referees stop the leper hockey game? There was a face-off in the corner."

"No musician has vision impairments All of them should know how to C#"

"What are Donald Trumps least favorite food? Mexican jumping beans"

"He was such a brutal fighter that, after slaying the tigress in the arena, he proceeded to devour her flesh. And he felt no remorse. He was Gladiator."

"Parenting is no different than a bear attack. Curl up & play dead and they usually leave you alone."

"What does a Jewish man attacking Pearl Harbour say? Torah! Torah! Torah!"

"Waterboarding at Guantanamo Bay sounds super fun if you don't know what either of those things are."