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Joke of the Day

"How does an Australian shave? Rise up lights"

"Did you know a load of hairy gay Theodore Roosevelt impersonators had a meal in the park today? It was the Teddy Bear's picnic."

"A flash mob has nothing to do with a bunch of Italians in trench coats hanging out at a playground, apparently."

"Justin has his Beliebers. 1D have their Directioners. If I ever had fans/stalkers I'd call them Tomaskateers."

"If only mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood."

"Three guys are drinking methanol. ""Quickly, let's finish the bottle, it's getting dark already,"" one of them observes."

"one time i slam dunked a basketball so good we were out of school for a week people just needed time to process"

"The way I bend the rules should qualify as yoga."

"A tangent applied for a credit card, but was denied. He couldn't find anyone willing to cosine."

"Husband: Call ambulance, Fast! I am Having a Heart Attack... Wife: ( Took his mobile): ""Quick!! Tell me the Password!!"" Husband: It's Okay, I am feeling better now!! :D :D"