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Joke of the Day

"Did you know a load of hairy gay Theodore Roosevelt impersonators had a meal in the park today? It was the Teddy Bear's picnic."

"What's the difference between a baby and a freezer? a freezer doesn't scream when you put your meat in it"

"Manager: Twenty teams in the league and you lot finish bottom ? Captain: Well it could have been worse. Manager: How ? Captain: There could have been more teams in the league !"

"A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand... A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says ""make me one with everything""."

"Forget drugs and sex. Parents please talk to your kids about their grammar and spelling."

"I have 12 fish, 5 drown how many do I have left? 12! Fish cant drown! (Dont be that guy and tell the truth about fish drowning)"

"ME to BF: ""We need to talk about the future."" BF: ""what about it,you wanna talk about flying cars and robots and stuff?"""

"I had a bowl of Cap'n Crunch cereal for the first time in a long time last weekend. The roof of my mouth should be healed in a few days."

"You won't believe how these like-minded high schoolers are luring new student victims! Clique Bait"

"How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus? Ten- tickles FTW!"