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Joke of the Day

"Justin has his Beliebers. 1D have their Directioners. If I ever had fans/stalkers I'd call them Tomaskateers."

"What do Mexicans use to cut a pizza? Little Caesar's"

"Why did the blond lay out on the lawn chair in her bikini at midnight? She wanted to get a dark tan."

"So a pimp is berating one of his girls nsfw ""You've got no tits and your cunt's too small"" ""Fuck you. Get off my back."""

"It's Cyber Monday, sooo.... what are you wearing?"

"Why is yogurt always in debt? Because it's Greek."

"An atheist, a crossfitter, and a vegan are all sitting at a bar... and I only know this because they won't shut the fuck up about it."

"Walk up to a girl, sniff her hair, and whisper ""Perfect. Master will love you."" This is a great way to increase your tolerance to Mace..."

"[Nsfw]What is in common between broccoli and anal? Both feel bad as adult, if you're forced as a child"

"I called out my wife's name during sex and she walked in to see what I needed. Won't do that again."